Filthy-Frothy-Mocha-Latte-Cocktail, Bitch!

Another Jersday celebration delivered unto us some nice snacks and some fancy drinks. Jersday, that inimitable spectator’s occasion that provides the perfect opportunity to get shitty whilst still feeling good about one’s self.

The snacks didn’t exactly turn out but the drinks sure did.

This cocktail is strikingly similar to comfort food. Rather, it’s the comfort food of drinks and can be served hot or cold depending on one’s mood. Pictured, it is iced.

It consists of a two part build that can, if you are so inclined, be layered.

The main drink is an iced espresso ganache with at least 2 shots of chilled vodka.

The second part, the topping, is an iced vodka and milk foam infused with white port of a relatively high standing, because port should not be cheap. If you were to make this a hot drink I would recommend making a white port infused whipped cream as a topping.

Finally, garnish with some double-roasted espresso beans for a nice crispy caffeinated flourish.


Low End Vodka, the sort with a clear ethanol flavour. Save the good stuff for drinking straight and for making vodka martinis.
Unsweetened or Semisweet Dark Chocolate
Instant Coffee

Warm some cream on the stovetop (no hotter 40-50°C). Pour it slowly over your chocolate while stirring until you have a slightly thicker than you would drink ganache (thinner than proper ganache). Mix in a heaped teaspoon of instant coffee, drop in a handfull of ice, and stir. Blend with a hand blender or pulse in a blender whilst adding as much vodka as takes your fancy. Add more ice and blend until your desired texture and fluidity are achieved. Set aside.


Vodka (like above)
White Port

This is very much a to taste mixture regarding the port. As a guideline, I used about two shots of port for roughly 150ml of cream and only a float of vodka. Start small and add until you get the desired flavour but be sure to use less vodka than port. Mix it all together with a blender or hand blender until it gets nice and frothy. Add some ice and blend smooth.


Now, put it all together in a glass! If you want a distinctively layered drink, your port infusion will have to be light and airy. I prefer the tastes to mingle so, as pictured, my port infusion was heavy and poured somewhat rigorously. Garnish with double-roasted espresso beans and ENJOY (while you watch the Shore with class).



Postscriptum: only dick-heads try to make drinking “healthy.”