Jamon Serrano pt II

I refuse to believe that I cannot eat my ham.

So, like any determined girl with webbing skills, I start Google-ing ‘how to store your sliced serrano ham’. It repeats the grave edict, refrigerate. Nonplussed, I check eleven different sites because, why would Tio Felipe lie?. Even ‘Tio Felipe’ doesn’t appear. Sadly, I stick the pack in the fridge.

The next morning, I lay in bed and start the real work: researching the causes and symptoms and fatality rates for botulism. Niki insists it will be fine but I prefer calculated risks.
I go downstairs and interrupt breakfast and announce that no one is to touch the ham in the fridge. I go back up to bed and start building courage.

2 days pass and finally a slice of meat is on a plate, warming up. I warn 3 friends that I might need medical attention in 6-36 hours but assure them a hospital trip would save me. R questions the sanity of dying for ham. I consider taking a picture of the meat that might kill me, but it crosses my mind as too tempting of the irony of fate.

I taste a slice and conclude the risk worthy.  I eat the rest quickly and shower for the day which goes as follows:

There is some mild cramping in my lower abdomen, but it’s been a while since I’ve had ham so I quickly unpanic.
I drink hot tea, eat some pasta and think, this pasta would taste great with some Serrano. I cut up some ham and mix it into the warm pasta with peas and butter. I die.
After an hour, I panic. The rest of the pasta is thrown out in case a sister should eat it and die.
BBM’s go out to Niki who mocks my panic.
A search of ‘incidences of botulism’ and ‘ham storage’ are inconclusive.
I feel little dizzy but look in the mirror and make sure I can still make facial expressions. I’m okay.
I write a page on Squidniki and go to bed, afraid of paralysis and death. The reader is unaware of the drama backstage.

I wake up, overjoyed to be alive and pretend not to remember that botulism can manifest in 36 hours. I carefully store the ham in a sealed bag and make plans to eat it all.

I am now fairly confident that I am resistant to botulism.

You should NOT attempt to do what I did.

Squid.

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