Ball Park/Street Meat Hot Dog Sandwich

I love hotdogs; I hate baseball.

Seriously, baseball is stupid. T-Ball, now that’s a sport!

If you’re anything like me, there’s nothing better than a good banger on a bun from your local street meat vendor. Sometimes you just don’t feel like cooking; you don’t have any sausages in the fridge, or any buns. Often, it’s 2am, last call has come and gone yet again, and you feel a bit peckish.

Bread. It must be seedy and grainy.
Salami, dry cured; Hungarian or German; spicy.
Cheap hotdog Mustard. Something like French’s.
A nice strong White Cheddar Cheese.

In this instance, you do feel like cooking but you don’t have the technology for hotdogs. However, you do have dry cured salami: something a little spicy, german or hungarian. You also have bread, mustard, cheese, butter or margarine, and a BBQ.

You can use any bread you like but something heavy and seedy holds up best to BBQing. If you have a loaf, thickly cut pieces will be best for a nice crisp outside and a spongy centre. Butter/Marg the outside of each piece of bread and throw it, butter side down, over a hot grill.

While the bread toasts, slice enough cheese to cover each slice of bread and get a stack of salami ready to go. Flip the bread for a minute to heat the non-buttered side; flip it back and cover each slice with cheese. Immediately put the salami on one slice and spread a generous smattering of mustard on the salami. NO SAUCE should EVER touch your bread!

Top your salami’d slice of bread with the remaining slice and toast with the BBQ lid closed until the bread is golden brown and slightly burned and the salami is heated. You now have a flat hot dog. Revel in your genius: you’re eating like you’re at a baseball game, only, without the shameful boredom and men in dirty tight pants spitting tabacco everywhere swinging their sticks around.

I bid you not to use Ketchup. It is unholy. You will die a thousand deaths.