Oeufs Brouillés

Well hello sexy morning:
That is the only appropriate greeting for the new day.  And for a proper scrambled egg, there is only one appropriate method. Slow.
If you think it pedantic to apply a method to scrambled eggs, you can get the hell out of my kitchen, and if you already know not to overcook and under-manage your eggs, you are a jewel.
But if you’ve ever felt that scrambled uffs are boring without cream cheese, or garlic, or some other sort of VERY unnecessary addition, try it like this, just once:

Sh*t you’ll need:
4 eggs
cream or milk
butter
chives, fresh or none at all. 2 pinches should do it.
black pepper

Directions:
Crack some eggs.
Whisk some air into them. If you’re not good with a fork, use a whisk.
Splash, not pour, some cream or milk into the mix and stir.

Put about 1 tsp of butter into a cool pan and turn the heat to medium-low.
Melt the butter completely and before it gets frothy, gently pour the eggs in.
Watch the edges of the egg, when it looks a little set pull the edges in. Turn the heat to low.
When cooked, egg starts to pile up a little in the centre, start gently turning the egg around, and flipping. Stir constantly if you want finely textured eggs, and let the egg set a bit more before each stir if you like bigger pieces of egg.
This is probably taking you a lot longer than you’re used to, but restrain the urge to turn up the heat.
When the egg is set enough that you can lift some up on a spatula or spoon without it running off, add the minced chives.
You will turn the eggs over a bit more, flipping and pressing and scrambling gently, so that there are no runny soupy puddles of raw egg left, but you will resist the urge to cook them any longer than that. They will be wet but hot.

if you like, take some cracked or coarse ground pepper and gently sprinkle some on top.

Serve with hot, impeccably timed brown toast and coffee; or, whatever else you want.
Enjoy listening to the shouts of guests who ask for their scambled eggs “well done” and naively find themselves locked in your basement until breakfast is over.

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